I rolled into Lexington in the early evening and of course told my friend Kevin, who is from a family of “avid” (an understatement) UK fans, that I was on their turf. He strongly suggested I stay until the next men’s basketball game and get a ticket. I looked this up and the cheapest was over $150, so that was not gonna happen. But as I walked around town I discovered that the women’s team was playing their last home game that night, and with a price tag of $10 that was more my speed. Not being familiar with the lady Cats I was unsure whether to be angry about the price gap, different smaller arena, and half-filled seats as an indication of gender disparity, or if this was just a byproduct of the men’s team being consistently good. I have a feeling now that it was the latter, but I retain my potential for grumpiness at a later date if I find it was the former.
Anyway, the game was fun considering I a) know very little about basketball, b) have no allegiance to the team aside from the subtle indoctrination that comes from years of watching games with my friend, and c) there was a small snack selection available. Regardless, it was inside while it was very cold outside, and I had a lovely time chatting with the older lady next to me who gave me all she had to suggest I should move there to teach. She should really work for the chamber of commerce, but that said she lives now in Louisville so her money is not where her mouth is (or however that applies here).
I spent a chilly night in a Cabela’s parking lot, during which I had to move in the middle of the night to another parking space since an RV near me was running its loud heater and my half asleep brain wondered if it was spewing carbon monoxide my way. For one reason or another I slept much better after that.
My roadside attractions list showed that a stuffed bear famous for eating a lot of cocaine was in a shop not far away, so I went by there only to be disappointed to find the cocaine bear had gone on loan just that morning to Rupp Arena for a concert and the basketball game, so that was a bummer, but I bought some ridiculous items anyway. After moving on downtown and grabbing some coffee and a sandwich from a cute spot, I walked across the street to Thoroughbred Park and saw the sculptures and read up on horse people until I glazed over and lost interest (I admit it was only like 5 minutes in).
From Lexington I went south into the Red River Gorge area, and stopped in at a Reptile Zoo where they milk venomous snakes to make vaccines and drugs. In retrospect this was not a stop worth paying for, but snake milking sounds crazy. And now I have an arsenal of snake pics to frighten my friends at any opportune moment.
I did a short hike around the gorge which perked me up. A lot of the roads in the area parks were closed for winter unfortunately, and my GPS sent me to the top of a tunnel I hoped to drive through rather than the actual tunnel part, but it was a fun adventure, aside from the bumpy state of the dirt road which bounced my poor tiny snake plant out of its pot and all over my van. I think I saved it, and moved it to the cupholder up front instead, but we shall see.
My trip to DC was rushed but wonderful. My friend Pam only half suspected I might be crazy and come crash her party, so that surprise was joyous and the weekend filled with craziness including a piano bar, so much good food, Wawa coffee, a successful wedding dress purchase (not for myself, don’t worry), and me petting all my friends’ soft outfits. I guess I needed extra sensory input after all that driving? Anyway, it was good to be back and see my friends and reclaim my little bed indoors.
The next stop was to Delaware to spend a few days binge watching TV and reading at my parents’ house. I successfully converted them into Masked Singer viewers (so that’s 4 at least, I’ll be awaiting my commission, Fox), did laundry, sat around in my pajamas most of the time, so pretty much reverted to being a teenager. My mother loaded me up with canned goods before I took off, then it was time to get back on track westbound.
party shenanigans
Bay Bridge views
snowy Morgantown
I left the Delaware coast and made it by evening to my friends Craig & Annelee’s new home outside Morgantown, WV that evening. It was a little reunion from my days staying with them in Charlottesville. We watched our ridiculous show, I scarfed down Craig’s excellent mac & cheese, and Yurtie remembered me after maybe 10 minutes of stranger danger. I got to give Yurtie a bath and have a night indoors while it snowed outside. Win-win all around.
I took off from their place pretty early to get ahead of the snow, and for parking logistics. The mountains of West Virginia are one of my favorite places, and even on a gross snowy day it was a pretty drive. I stopped off in some little town which had a visitor’s center devoted to a local UFO legend. It was pretty crazy. But props to them for the thorough and expansive exhibit.
Later on I stopped off for lunch in the state capital, Charleston, for lunch and to browse a bit. Obviously, as a bibliophile I was drawn to a place called Books & Brews, described as a pub in a bookstore. I was super excited, as these are two wonderful things. Alas, the bookstore part was not profitable so they dropped that half and went full restaurant with lots of books available to read as an decor. I also discovered that this wasn’t even the original location, so it never was a bookstore, but no matter. I had a good sweet potato burger and got to listen to the young-20s employee share his half-informed, half-xenophobic ideas for coronavirus end of days, so that was pretty entertaining.
I stopped in at a market, too, before heading out and had a decadent spicy Mexican mocha while perusing the locally made wares and foods. Just the thing for another stretch of driving out of the Mountain State and onwards to Kentucky.
The next stop on my route towards home was Chattanooga, which I’d been hearing great things about from my friend Destani for years whenever she went to visit relatives. I arrived in town in the late afternoon on a drizzly, overcast day. Not ideal for viewing from the surrounding mountains, but I figured a little rain wouldn’t affect seeing a cave, so my first stop was Ruby Falls.
Situated on Lookout Mountain, the waterfall inside a cave system filled with stalactites, stalagmites, and other cool rock formations was a full on roadside attraction for families. As part of entry you can go up a lookout tower to see the city, but it was kind of a bust with the clouds and all. Inside the cave our guide led us through the slippery paths, pointed out the formations, and we arrived at Ruby Falls for a culminating lightshow with music. The kids on the tour and the group of loogie hawking drunk guys loved that. I loved leaving them at at the end of the tour.
I was surprisingly taken with Chattanooga. Everyone I talked to was extremely nice, and not just in the way people serving you are to make tips, but actually engaged in real conversation and seemed eager to share what makes their city great. The couple I was sitting next to at dinner even invited me to come stay at their house if I needed (I declined) and I got suggestions for breakfast among other tidbits. The food was great, the town seemed to have a variety of cool shops and restaurants, and while there were obviously neighborhoods and income levels and places more put together than others, it seemed like a very livable place.
After peeking in at the train (all I really knew about this place was that Chattanooga choo-choo song so had to do it) in the big hotel, I spent found a quiet sleeping spot and got up early for breakfast at a cafe recommended by the locals the evening before. Great food, better prices. I took my to-go coffee (which is a thing in the south that is frivolous but I love) and took a walk across the southern end of the Tennessee River on a pedestrian bridge and on the river walk path. I didn’t walk the whole thing, which spans over 10 miles, but the part I did went from a cool neighborhood with a circus-y fountain I wish I’d seen in action, across the Walnut Street Bridge, and around the artsy neighborhood past the sculpture gardens at the Hunter Museum and one on the bluffs. There had been a lot of rain so parts of the riverbank looked to be flooded, but I wasn’t sure how much was covered really.
My last stop before leaving the city was back up Lookout Mountain to this bizarre attraction called Rock City. This place is a proper tourist trap attraction, and I commend them on their marketing and obviously getting as close to a theme park as they could. There are signs for miles, they have their own series of restaurants and snack carts strategically sprinkled throughout (or would in warmer months), and several gift shops. The works. The place itself is a walk through boulders with little photo op places and lighting, with a hanging bridge, a view of a cool waterfall at “Lovers Leap” point, a spot where allegedly on a clear day you can see 7 states (I could see 2- thanks for nothing, clouds), and my personal favorite… the gnomes.
The gnome and fairy tale garden is built into the grottos and underground space, and features crazy black light glowing, creepy music, and is what I imagine an acid trip while reading Mother Goose would be like. Wow. The woman who originally owned and created the property was German and brought her love of garned gnomes to new levels.
I was headed northeast, planning to make Asheville my next stop, which took me right through the ridiculous place that is Pigeon Forge. Had the weather been nice I 100% would have stopped off at Dollywood, but it was gross and drizzly with occasional snowflakes popping in and out. Man is that town something. I wish I had taken photos, but just google it. It’s like the Rainforest Cafe, a Vegas off-strip casino, and boardwalk fun zone all had a sad knock off baby that threw up everywhere. That is Pigeon Forge. I literally (and mean literally) drove through with my mouth agape the entire time and am not sure how I paid attention to the road at all. I remember a Titanic shaped building, one with a gorilla on it, a giant dinosaur, and all kinds of other craziness before my mind got overwhelmed. One day I will be back and do this whole town roadside attraction justice.
Since the road took me right through, I stopped off at Great Smoky Mountains National Park and did a short hike up to a waterfall, since the ranger at the visitor center recommended it as on my route and not affected by the snow. It was great to be back outside and smell that happy fresh smell of running water and leaves.
I made it to Asheville and sampled the wares at three small breweries, one of which I’m pretty sure I had gone to last time I was in town and must have forgotten the name. My plan had been to stay the night, go to the Biltmore and do some major eating and drinking for the day before heading back towards DC, but the predicted snow flurries were intensifying unexpectedly into more snow coming in earlier, enough that the local schools had already called off for the next day. I think it was only going to be 1-2″, but my van is not ideal in even rain on hills, so just to be safe decided to call it short and head back a day early to avoid snow or ice on mountain roads.
My little van blended in easily with all the delivery vans and beer trucks, so I spent a chilly night parked on the street, stayed in my ridiculous pajamas, picked up some delicious biscuit sandwich for breakfast, and hit the road. I found a rest stop a few hours later where I ate half my breakfast and carefully wrapped up the rest for later. I looked out at the snow coming down (roads still too warm to stick, but still makes for annoying drivers), wondered how I’d convinced myself this was a good plan, missed the warm sunshine of Florida, and kept on trucking. Another hour later, I sadly realized I’d thrown out the leftovers instead of the trash. Sigh.
After that low point, the rest was smooth sailing. Once I was a ways into Virginia I was well ahead of the flurries coming in later, and stopped off outside Charlottesville (flooded with memories of baby gymnastics class) at the winery where my friends are getting married later this year. Once I hit DC traffic, I remembered how much I hated rush hour and instead found a parking lot near dinner I was going to pick up and took a nap in the van. Mobile home pays off! Now I just had to pull off my surprise…
So after my glorious month of warmth and happy adventures lounging on Florida’s beaches, I decided to make a quick sojourn home to DC for a weekend. Among the reasons I did so were: 1) it was my friend Pam’s birthday and I’d be able to make a surprise visit for her party shenanigans; 2) I could pick up my mail and tax documents; 3) I had to renew my library card and I was driven by spite at the prospect of losing my place in the holds list for a few books; 4) I could make all my friends jealous of my sweet tan; 5) I could see my family before heading west for a while. So north I went, and went from beach in a bikini to snow in fleece pajamas in a few short days, but I’m jumping ahead.
I stared north and arranged to stop by and visit my friend Jessy at her place outside Atlanta for the first in a series of ‘friends my age with real houses who are real grown ups while you live in a van down by the river like a college gap year kid’ visits. On my way there I made a detour to Plains, home of Jimmy Carter, really so I could find a giant peanut made to resemble him from my list of roadside attractions. I got more than I bargained for, as I decided to stop at an actual historic sight exhibit to make the detour more legit, plus it was Presidents’ Day so it seemed appropriate. When I pulled in to the overflow parking area (having missed the first entrance turn) there was an SUV sitting outside, and I actually said aloud to myself “huh, wouldn’t it be funny if that was secret service” moments before, sure enough, out the agents came escorting the Carters to the car. I guess a new exhibit section had a grand opening for the holiday and I had excellent accidental timing. I know he’s kind of everywhere in Plains, but it was a cool surprise for me!
The Carter historic site I went to (I guess there’s also his boyhood home and one other place I didn’t go) is in the old school he attended, and I enjoyed seeing the reminders of a time not so long ago when our Presidents earned Nobel prizes, said inspiring things actually meant to bring people together, and worked to serve others in need rather than throw money at their own corporations. Plus I got a sweet photo op behind a fake desk, and found my Carter peanut.
Further on up the road I made another pit stop for lunch at the small town where the movie Fried Green Tomatoes was filmed. The town of Juliette, GA kept the row of buildings used for the film pretty much as they were, so it was fun walking through the scenes and of course had to have the fried green tomato salad. When I was young my godmother took me to the movies, our first together, and the only thing my mother told her was to make sure it wasn’t violent. The first death a few minutes in was not a great sign for that promise, but a great book and movie for sure! My favorite part is the gravestone for Stump, the arm.
Jessy welcomed me to her home and I got to play with her enthusiastic dog, and we had dinner at one of the couple of restaurants in her community. Poor Jessy put up with me asking her a million questions and trying to fill the silence between two people who know one another and all the same people but have never really spent much time along together. If me keeping her from her usual routine wasn’t enough, I treated her to some ridiculous photos from my next day’s roadside attraction, which is a place that will definitely haunt my brain with nightmares forever.
The Cabbage Patch Babyland General Hospital is an old mansion turned into a weird store/museum of Cabbage Patch dolls. The whole place is made to be like a doll hospital, and the staff of mostly elderly ladies all wear old fashioned nurse’s outfits. There are cases with original hand sewn dolls creeped me out like crazy. There are baby nurseries for dolls with Andy Warhol prints on the walls. There are ‘adoption offices’ where they take you to fill out forms before you buy a doll. There are kids here totally into it, and adults totally into it, and a few sane people nervously laughing with tentative looks on their faces. There’s a shop with a magical forest garden complete with baby dolls crowning from cabbage heads…. I may never eat a cabbage again. It was bizarre. And blegh. And hilarious. And now my last memory of Georgia before I crossed into Tennessee.
My last stop in Florida was back over to the Gulf coast to attend a teacher workshop outside the St. Petersburg/Tampa area. The workshop was through a regional association for outdoor focus schools (ERAFANS), so it would be interesting since that’s my area of interest while also being great networking and to gather intel about where I might try visiting in the future. Coincidentally enough, the organizer had come from right outside my hometown and had done some professional development this year with the school at which I’d been teaching until recently, so we knew some people in common. Go figure.
The training itself had some great sessions, some outside and more active and some more traditional presentations and brainstorming sessions. It was held at a local Waldorf school so there was a focus toward that approach to some extent, but applicable to a number of settings. After the workshop some of us visiting from out of town got together at a restaurant for dinner and drinks with a nice view of the water. It was fun to hang out with a group of like-minded people for the evening, and I felt like I was on a good path towards whatever lies ahead professionally.
Not far from the school hosting the workshop I discovered a magical roadside attraction called WhimzeyLand. These two properties across the street from one another in a random suburban neighborhood are covered in mosaic art and adorned with bowling balls, bottle sculpture, and all sorts of colorful craziness. Wow.
I stayed two nights at Dunedin marina, and on my second night followed some music I could hear from my van over to a bar in town right behind the parking lot, which had a performer in the pedestrian alley who looked like a Tom Hanks ala Forrest Gump wannabe. Tables outside were at a premium and I stood around for a few min before a table of older men invited me to come sit with them since they, too, were laughing at a group of bagpiping teenagers attempting to perform inside, and every time the door opened to the patio a less than pleasing sound competed with the singer. Allegedly one of these guys, a local retiree who was hosting the other friends visiting that evening, is head or CEO or inventor (I was obviously paying close attention) of some popcorn company like Jolly Pop or Jolly Time or something with a J. Who knows. I chatted with them for a bit, and when they left I paid forward the table sharing and invited a birthday group to join me, and turns out the birthday gentleman had had a stroke recently and was very glad to sit. They were all very nice, and I talked to them for a bit while enjoying the music until it was a respectable bedtime hour.
I’ve never been a super extroverted person, but one side effect of the whole solo travel is being forced to talk to strangers. This has been the case over the many trips I’ve taken alone, particularly overseas trips, but this extended time has made it noticeably more ingrained and instinctual. Maybe too much even, which is something I would never in a million years have guessed would be the case.
But as I discovered the next day, my new tendency towards chattiness does not equate with a love of being around people in all cases. On the recommendation of my godmother and her gentleman friend (it seems wrong to say boyfriend about someone in his 80s for some reason) I visited the Dali museum in St. Pete’s, which was very cool and totally worth going to. The building and garden alone are works of art, and I liked the self guided tour options on their app. I went through the exhibits of the surrealist movement in Paris in the 20s, and of Dali’s art and life.
His amazing ability to design and implement these double-take visual tricks is fascinating, and I thoroughly enjoyed the museum… until towards the end the layout of the room got very cramped and maze-like, and I found myself trapped in a narrow aisle between two different tour groups and in the midst of a mild panic attack. Oops. I had to hug myself until an opening in the crowd appeared and I was able to slip out into the hallway, where I promptly backed up to the wall and closed my eyes to breathe. A well meaning woman tapped me to ask if I was okay, which totally surprised me and I jumped and yelped. Oops again. Then I had to go cry in the bathroom for a few minutes until I could pull it together enough to escape outside to the garden where I felt better. I don’t love crowds and get antsy in places like packed farm markets, fairs, etc. but rarely does it manifest like this- I can really only think of once or twice before.
Anyway, the garden was beautiful with cool sculptures, views of a boat race, and a tree where you’re invited to write a wish on your entry wristband and hang it before leaving. My wish may or may not have been to never feel like that again. So far so good.
The remainder of my last day in Florida was spent at my happy state of chilling on the beach. I found a quiet spot on Sunset Beach on Treasure Island to nap, read, relax, and take a final dip in the warm water before heading north for a bit. My month in the Sunshine State was a pretty memorable one and I’m still not 100% sure I’m not crazy for leaving.
While traveling with my friend around southern Florida felt like being in vacation mode on what is fundamentally a vacation from my usual life, hopping over from Fort Lauderdale to visit St. Croix was just a straight up vacation. My friend Delyla is pretty much the craziest workaholic who is in demand and takes full advantage by selecting posts in some pretty sweet locations. She is also a ridiculous hostess who goes overboard and plans a million wonderful things to do whenever anyone visits, and I love getting to see her the few times a year I get to, so what better place to spend a birthday vacation week!
I got to do that fun tiny plane runway experience, beat Spirit baggage fees by shoving it all into my backpack, and was welcomed to the US Virgin Islands by successfully crossing the street to my friend’s car remembering that the cars drive on the other side of the road. Delyla took me into Christiansted for dinner and trivia night (our mini-team of three came in first, no big deal), and I got to take in the gorgeous view from her place.
The next day she had work, but her friend Julie was kind enough to give me an extensive tour of the island. I got to meet and know Julie when we were all in Wisconsin this summer, and she was not only a wonderful tour guide but is also a fascinating and wonderful person. She spends winters in the USVI and summers leading Grand Canyon rafting adventures while living in her own van (vanlife buddies!), is super chill and open, and is learning to sail because why not. Plus she makes a good drink.
We drove all over every corner of St. Croix, which shifts between rainforest, dry windy areas, and everything in between. Julie had heard of this old plantation with a labyrinth which we checked out, and got to see the remains of the old sugar cane works and distillery.
After consuming a delicious amount of cheese we visited Point Udall, which is the easternmost point in the US Territories. Weirdly enough, the westernmost point in Guam is also called Point Udall (thanks for that craziness, Wikipedia), but this one was here and had a statue that’s supposed to look like two Ms intersecting- something to do with the first sunrise of the new millennium in the country, which is pretty cool.
That night there was a street festival called Jump Up with food stalls, drinks, performers, and music in town. There are these amazing performers called moko jumbies who dance on stilts dressed as protective spirits (my best understanding but perhaps not super nuanced). One even walked over my head between crazy dance moves and balancing on one leg. We stopped in a fancy tiki bar that was randomly having a singles mixer for pre-Valentine’s so that was hilarious. We took off after our frou-frou drinks but before the weird games began. Fun start of the weekend!
The rest of the weekend we spent at a beautiful hotel on the western end of the island in Frederiksted, the other big town on island. Delyla, her Kevin (different one from my travel buddy, weird coincidence) and I went on a sunset cruise with live music. We may have consumed 50% of the cheese meant for the whole boat, had rum punch, watched the sunset and almost-full moon rise. We later met up with some fun local characters, one of whom walked a balloon dog using Kevin’s crazy sort of dog Mr. Pickles’ leash. Our random evening ended with a trip to the pier where we spotted giant tarpon and a few magical sea turtles. I really wanted to swim with them and experience the local tradition of a night pier jump without the actual jumping in part, but resisted the urge.
The next day we chilled by the beautiful pool while Delyla did work, then took a break to go feed to some giant pigs non-alcoholic beer. Apparently they used to drink real beer but this is better for them? You buy one from the bar, and every so often the owner brings everyone back to the piggies and you plop the whole can in a mouth, they pierce the can, guzzle, and spit all these empty cans on the ground. I’m very conflicted with the poor piggies living in that tiny space, but at least they get to do this as a diversion in a nice spot… While waiting for the pig time I was given the treat of tasting mama juana- I’d had some in the Dominican Republic years ago, and it tastes just as terrible as I remembered. Later on we hung around, watched the sunset (chatting with a lovely police officer who was laughing with us about something though it looks in one of these photos like we’re in trouble-ha) had some dinner, Julie and Delyla showed off their pool skills, and had a fun night.
The next day was my birthday, which I spent in the best way possible lounging by the pool, swimming in the Caribbean, and being the perfect amount of lazy. Delyla and Kevin indulged my birthday tradition of having pizza on salad- it was my first birthday in maybe forever that I haven’t spent with my parents, so having this weird dinner made me happy.
While being lazy and reading in the wonderful half-submerged lounge chairs, I met a couple from the DC area who were looking for people to come on a boat tour of Buck Island the following day, so I signed up but it was kind of up in the air because they needed a minimum to sign up. I got a ride into town with one of Delyla’s neighbors, toured Fort Christriansvaern and learned more about the Dutch history of the island, then at the last minute found out that the boat tour was a go.
I downed some ginger tablets, had a nice ride out to Buck Island with my new buddies, and enjoyed a day snorkeling at the reef and walking on the beautiful white sand beach. We spotted two sharks, a puffer fish, swam alongside several schools of blue tang fish, and saw all kind of beautiful fish and coral. So many snorkel trips in just a few weeks! I wish I’d had longer to hang at the beach on the island- the water was so blue and warm, the sand so soft and littered with coral and conch shells.
My last adventure in the island was a hike out to the Annaly Bay tide pools, which is an about 45 min trek through the rainforest to a rocky beach. The trail had lizards and hermit crabs all over. I love the sound this beach made- that soft clapping or rain-like noise as the water recedes over the rocks and pebbles. It was a windy day and the waves were kind of a mess, so I was very glad that there were some other people out there too as I climbed out over the slippery rocks as the surf crashed. The tide pools themselves were spectacular! There were some small urchins in the pool, but beautiful cool water, amazing views and sounds, and watching the larger waves crash over the rock wall into the pool was special for sure. I didn’t take my stuff or camera on the rock climb, so can’t adequately capture how cool it was but others have. I managed to drive just fine on the other side of the road, which was just as much of an achievement.
We had one last dinner by Salt River Bay before I had to go back to the mainland and leave this beautiful land of loose chickens, crazy potholes, and no open container laws. Thanks to all the St. Croix folks who made my van-less trip leg so wonderful!
I bummed around Miami for a few days here and there mainly for the beaches. The beaches! My first go through Miami was the tail end of my time with my travel buddy. We come into town and stayed in Little Havana for our last night before he headed back to real life. Not gonna lie, I was totally skeptical as drove down this kind of sketchy street and I had to leave my home on wheels in a questionable parking area, but the hotel we stayed in was actually super nice, and has a beautiful rooftop restaurant- like an oasis in a sea of chainlink fence and glass on the sidewalk. We had delicious dinner at a Cuban restaurant, a drink on the roof, and I had an excellent shower not knowing when my next real shower opportunity would be. I had been spoiled by real hotels! Going back to my usual routine was gonna be rough and a little lonely.
Kevin didn’t need to be at the airport until late afternoon, so we went into South Beach for brunch and to walk around. It was a gorgeous sunny day and walking on the beach I was super bummer we hadn’t brought swim stuff, but maybe for the best since at one far end the water was empty except for a crowd watching three grey blobs in the water lurking near the shoreline- sharks?? I choose to believe small, nice-ish sharks. No fins visible, but also didn’t surface in the 15 min or so we watched. In any case, the cool retro lifeguard huts are pretty sweet, the water was blue and cool, and we happened to be visiting the week of the Super Bowl.
maybe sharks? realize this is not super clear
Super Bowl central! We had accidentally stumbled upon Fox’s zone of fun, which had photo ops, free Doritos, and a bunch of promos for upcoming shows like a giant Lego wall you could help build, and my favorite: a Ferris wheel with a Masked Singer theme! My current fave guilty pleasure show. Also offered excellent views of Miami beach. I was almost tempted to stay in town for the game and come back down here to watch the commentators and crazy fans, but a giant rainstorm came through and I’m glad I hightailed it away for a few days before returning when back to sunny.
After my drop off at the airport I did some laundry, and then spent the next few days checking out a few beaches between North Miami Beach and Hollywood. Did some reading, sunning, swimming, napping, and one of my days at the beach happened to be at the clothing optional beach area. Parents and relatives and potential future employers, please skip ahead to next section. Everyone else, yeah I totally had to go for the full experience because how often does this opportunity present itself? Plus I will almost certainly never see any of those people again so who cares if they all see my pasty white areas is my opinion. It was mainly old couples and dudes, and one young couple who took this chance to do all the usual Insta poses just with their butts showing this time. I had a very kind offer to join a nudist man on his boat (pass) and chatted with some nice Israeli dude. I call it a win to have come away with fewer burned areas than expected.
South of Miami is the Biscayne National Park, which is a park like 99% underwater. Okay, I don’t know the actual amount, but it really is pretty boat dependent to enjoy. Kevin and I came and checked out the visitor center and walk along the mangroves, and later on I came back on my own and went on a snorkel trip out to Anniversary reef. The boat company has only been running tours for a short while so the reef is still relatively unharmed from visitor damage. It was a little rough seas wave-wise, but had a shark swim right under me, spotted some ginormo kind of ugly fish, teeny jellyfish, and all kinds of pretty fish and coral. On the way back we saw a few dolphins, and my ginger pills did their job and I was puke free despite the major waves.
In town I spent an afternoon in the Wynnwood neighborhood checking out the murals and amazing street art. It was pretty spectacular, and I totally loved how the whole area was basically catering to Instagram and ‘pics or it didn’t happen’ culture, while occasionally mocking it at the same time. This also 100% did not stop me from taking a million photos as seen below.
A little north of Miami I made one last stop before heading across the state once again, this time to a beautiful attraction which is, in a way, one of the oldest buildings in the western hemisphere. The Cloisters of the Monastery of Saint Bernard de Clairvaux were originally built in Spain in the 1100s, but hundreds of years later was purchased by William Hearst, who had each stone marked, packed, and shipped to the US. He died before it could be reassembled but someone else bought it all and put the crazy puzzle back together in Florida. To honor this rich history, I had a Valentine’s photo shoot with my creepy cat statue (I think I have the market cornered on #creepycatroadtrip if you have any interest in his Flat-Stanley-style adventure), walked the labyrinth and garden, and felt rather serene.
Had to eventually (and reluctantly) leave Miami to head northwest toward Tampa, but had a blast!
Dry Tortugas National Park lies 70 miles west of Key West, and is one of the more remote parks to get to, so of course we decided to try to go despite zero preplanning. There are three ways to get to the park: seaplane, private boat, or the one ferry tour that goes out daily. Which fills up pretty quickly at certain times of year. And was fully booked each of the days we were visiting. As I’ve said, it’s wonderful to have the freedom to go wherever on no real fixed schedule and just roll with what comes up and seems fun, but occasionally a little more of a set schedule would come in handy such as now.
Anyway, we decided to try our hand at just showing up early and seeing if a standby spot opened up, so that is just what we did. Saturday morning at 6am we arrived and were the first people in line when the office opened and put our names on the list, as sometimes people don’t show up or they find they can add on. This was not our day. But that’s okay because we spent it instead doing all kinds of fun things in Key West. But were we optimistic and tried the same strategy the next day, again first in line and with coffee in hand, and like magic the guy who opened that morning was pretty sure he could get us on. And he sure did!
do we look excited to get on this boat?
We got on the ferry along with 150 or so of our closest new friends, I drugged myself with dramamine, and had some breakfast onboard. Man, and I glad I took that stuff because it was choppy and I slept through the worst of it- at one point semi-awake I discovered that about 1/3 of the boat was either similarly drugged and passed out, looking sick, or being sick. A good time to be out of it.
By the time we arrived around 2 1/2 hours later, I was more alert, downed some ginger ale as a precaution (my boat history is… not stellar), and stepped outside and was awed immediately by the vibrant blue of the water and the gorgeous view of the island.
Dry Tortugas was originally a strategic fort location since it lies at the end of a reef that runs all the way from the Keys to this island (Garden Key), so any ship would have had to come all the way out past here to go between the Gulf coast from the Florida Atlantic coast. Fort Jefferson was built here mid-1800s and was never actually finished, but served as a military outpost, refueling station, and remote prision over the years it was active. On our tour we learned that some of its notable moments include being the departure point for the Maine before it headed to its end in Cuba and to start the Spanish American War, and was the site of a yellow fever epidemic, during which its most famous inmate, Dr. Samuel Mudd who was imprisoned for his involvement in the Lincoln assassination, treated patients there and in doing so was able to lessen his sentence for saving so many lives.
The fort overlooks the beautiful sea, and walking the ramparts gave wonderful views of the shore, moat, pilings, and some of the bird life the islands are known for. We spotted a frigate bird, which according to the guide was cool and they nest one one of the smaller adjacent island areas.
AFter the tour we had lunch by the campsite area and wished we had known you didn’t need to reserve a site to camp there, because we totally would have had we known. Then we snorkled around by the pilings and along the fort wall and saw all kinds of colorful coral, fish, and other cool things I don’t know enough about to name. The water was a little cool but nice, and clear and pretty still where we were. So glas we got to come here and do this because the reef sees much less traffic than most in the area and thus was pretty healthy and active. Sadly no tortugas. Apparently there used to be so many turtles here that they named the island that, and ate them all the time, even turning some on their backs in the boats and keeping them alive by basting them with sea water until they needed to eat again (this makes me sad but is ingenious for fresh meat at sea). Since there is no natural source of fresh water, the name was changed to Dry Tortugas.
I wish we’d had longer on the island, but after snorkeling it was time to head back to the boat where I drugged myself again but was less sleepy this time and managed to stay awake and even read some. Maybe I need to take this stuff for every car trip because I can never read on anything moving, so who knows. I totally recommend to anyone who has the chance to go here however you can! Such a cool place and by nature of it’s location never overrun with people. It felt that much more special thanks to this, and thanks to our dumb luck getting there,
Long post for 3 days, but I was in total vacation mode and packed in all the things!
Kevin and I rolled south into Key West on a Friday morning armed with recommendations from our friend Grant and started off with brunch at Blue Heaven, a place with a cool patio overrun (like most of the island) with chickens. There was a little wait so we started off in true Key West fashion with a drink and watched the crowd.
After fueling we went on a tour of Hemingway’s house. I was interested thanks to the books and his legacy, but came away even more into the home, garden, and stories thanks to our great tour guide. We heard about the revenge pool (his wife built a crazy expensive pool to replace his boxing ring when she found out about girlfriends on his reporting trip), the fountain in the garden (previously a urinal from his favorite bar), and we got to see the Hemingway cats (extra digits to help catch prey).
6-toed cat chilling in bed
Hemingway’s “last cent” one of his wives enshrined by her revenge pool
writing den
urinal fountain
the cats left their mark while building
relaxing by the revenge pool
In order to set up camp in daylight, we went to the campground on Stock Island just outside town. We had planned to go back downtown for sunset, but the campground hosts were hosting a happy hour where we were the youngest people by decades. Regardless it was fun to chat and get to know some other people who travel around, too. I got a million bug bites on my ankles but we also got some good food ideas from people, such as a lobster roll place on Duvall Street which Kevin tried that night and gave two thumbs up. Before leaving though I played around on the swing (can’t take the preschool out of the teacher) and spotted some giant iguanas hanging out in a tree by the pond there.
The next day we took the Conch Train tram tour around the historic downtown. Woohoo! We started off with a museum highlighting the history of Key West, mainly focusing on the maritime and railroad industries. We read all about building Flagler’s railroad, picking over shipwrecks, and I was far too amused at the possible profession of being a sponge hooker (one who gathers sea sponges with a hook, obviously).
We hopped off the Conch Train (side note, on the way saw a Hawaii license plate that won my restarted license plate game in much faster time that my first of the trip) not far from Hemingway’s house which we recognized from the day before, and next door, conveniently enough, was the Key West lighthouse. We climbed up and got a good view of town and oriented ourselves for the day.
From here we walked toward the beach and of course had to stop and stand in a giant line to take a photo at the southernmost point in the continental US. The lighting was terrible for photos but beautiful in real life. We made some friends in line as always happens when you play Heads Up to pass waiting time. These people were unimpressed by our guessing skills, and rightfully so. We sucked and apparently know very little overlapping pop culture, but maybe that’s a good sign? Before leaving town a few days later we also drove the Van is Go by and snapped a pic of her (I’ve decided the van’s pronouns are she/her) passing by.
We wandered to the beaches and liked this little one, Dog Beach (yes, you can bring dogs here) and watched the kids and animals swim and play in the water while enjoying the water on out feet. Another larger beach further up was a little dirtier and the shoreline wasn’t as nice and full of seaweed. From there we walked back to pick up the conch train again, and I forced us both to take ridiculous photos along the way. Something new and different, I know.
We hopped back on the tram, and took it to the next stop and hopped back off for a while. While walking around the night before we passed this cool Mission style church with Tibetan prayer flags all over, so I stopped to read a sign out front that told about a group of Buddhist monks visiting that week to do a healing prayer sand mandala, and it culminated with a procession to the sea to then dump the sand from the intricate, labor intensive creation into the ocean. The procession and ceremony were happening the next day so we had to go! What a great timing coincidence.
I’d gone in high school to the Sackler Gallery when a group of monks made a mandala there over the course of the week, and watching them painstakingly use these small cones to add colored sand detail to this huge design was spectacular and transfixing. We found the beach where it was supposed to happen, andI guess a closing ceremony and procession takes a while because we ended up waiting about an hour or so before the group arrived. This wasn’t too bad because we got to hang at the tiny beach and chat with a local dude who lives on a boat by Christmas Tree Island and who bonded over Kentucky sports with Kevin. Go figure. They spouted game memories to one another while I enjoyed a mango margarita and spotted Wilson, and we did get some good local recs from this guy so it was all good. I also followed some of the gazillion chickens and roosters that run loose all over Key West around to see the cutie chicks.
Finally an influx of people with cameras indicated the procession was arriving, and we snuck to a good spot to watch as the monks and church members entered and took their places on the pier for the ceremony. They played music and chanted, then slowly poured the sand into the sea (okay, mostly the wind…. I may have inhaled some by accident so now I’m blessed or something in my mind). It was very cool to watch.
Following this fun side trip, we attempted to get back on the Conch Train from where we’d hopped off, and I asked the man who worked there and he told us to line up so we did, but turns out he assumed we were part of a train that had stopped off and was part of a cruise ship tour. Soooooo…. we accidentally almost got on a probably Corona virus laden cruise, but they stopped the tram to see everyone’s passes which is when we jumped off and escaped, thankfully picked up by a nice lady driving a trolley who said it happens every day. Oops. Anyway, she took us back and gave us a great little private tour of Duvall Street’s many historic bars and told us where to go eat before dropping us back by Mallory Square, right where we wanted to be to see the famous sunsets of Key West.
We camped out at a Cuban restaurant bar to wait away from the crowds, watched a guy scare many people passing by when he jumped out at them from behind his (just handheld and pretty obvious unless you weren’t paying attention) palm fronds. That was entertaining. We also made some friends, including this funny older man with a hat and his longtime business partner also names Kevin, so they all bonded over that, and also by Kevin showing off his fabulous dancing skills with some random people we chatted with. Also entertaining- if you have ever seen this in action, you know what I mean.
The sunset did not disappoint, though I was not a huge fan of the squishy crowd scene. Everyone clapped at the moment the sun slipped below the waterline, which was both ridiculous and kind of fun. On the trolley lady’s recommendation we consumed 100% of a giant and delicious pizza after I was coerced into watching Kentucky basketball for however long a game is (go American sports?), then went and watched a fun band at Sloppy Joe’s before heading back to the campground. Long day of fun!
The next day after a day trip to Dry Tortugas (more to come on that), we got in another fantastic sunset from the aptly named Sunset Pier. While it was super crowded at the bar area and around the live music, we found a good spot towards the end and I was much less claustrophobic. Phew.
We splurged for one night at a real place to stay which was a b&b run by some lovely men with style, and I gobbled up some of their excellent cookies before we headed out to the Green Parrot, sadly offering no live music that night, but was offering a toasted couple who drew us into their fight over cigarettes (mildly uncomfortable but also funny), and a portrait to add to my family likeness album. Since we were staying in town and didn’t have to worry about driving back anywhere, this was our crazy Key West party night, which we spent the remainder of at some bar called Irish Kevin’s which Kevin wanted to go to for obvious reasons. Here, fate brought us back together with the hat guy and other Kevin from the night before’s sunset fun, and we hung out with them for a while. The two Kevins had a great time indulging in many name related photo ops and by doing car bombs.
There was a cover band taking requests and we definitely took over that immediately and took it from a sort of chill atmosphere to a bizarro dance party thanks to Kevin’s jumping/dancing, and after watching for a while just gave in and did some terrible crazy dancing of my own. It doesn’t come out often, for very good reason, but it was a fun time. There also happened to be a onesie bar crawl that day and a few of the attendees came in and I was overly excited to see them (my friends and I may have collections of adult onesie pajamas we wear on girls trips so I felt like these were my people- and I found a narwhal twin!). So that was some crazy, but nothing a nice breakfast by the pool the next day and some new contacts didn’t fix.
We scooped up a slice of key lime pie on the way out of town. Seems like the perfect way to end our time in this special place! Could have stayed another week or forever if time and money were no issue, but as it was we had more to see and do, so off we went. Thanks, Key West!
Having made our way east from Naples through the northern edge of Everglades, Kevin and I stopped off for the night in a random town called Palmetto Bay which was simply well positioned to take off in the morning for the Keys. I pulled up a handy app for finding van parking and we picked one that seemed okay and recently used with no issues near but outside a public park parking lot, and figured out the logistics of fitting 2 people plus all their stuff in the van for the night. He hadn’t really paid attention to any of my online pics and thought the van was still in its original configuration of more bed and more storage, and thus had no joke more clothes than I did (mainly acquired during the football game stuff) in two giant bags. But with strategic use of front seats as storage it was all fine, which is great to know for if I ever have more friends come play!
Anyway, we settled in for an early night, I managed to sleep through the occasionally loud snoring in small quarters, when around midnight it happened: my very first nighttime knock. Of course on the first and only occasion I had company, which was hilarious timing but also nice for me (since it was inevitably going to happen eventually) to not be alone when waking up to a flashlight and officer knocking. Turns out he was mainly just concerned that the parking lot’s lights were burned out and didn’t think it was the safest place to sleep, but also implied it was park property despite no signage and being outside the fence. No worries, he was super nice and directed us to a better lit place up the road. But what an adventure for poor Kevin- ha! And that became our one and only night sleeping in the van itself. Coincidence? Perhaps not.
On our way south I made us stop by a roadside attraction called the Coral Castle, but then refused to pay the almost $20 per person to actually go inside after peeking through the gate and deciding it wasn’t worth it. It’s allegedly haunted, and made from huge slabs of coral ‘mysteriously’ transported here to build a funky home with statues and things in the yard. The other fun surprise that morning was to wake up to a “Severe Weather Alert” warning about how not to get frostbite. Ha! The evening temperatures were predicted to drop to about 35, which is of course very cold for southern Florida, but it made me laugh a lot. Plus all the ‘watch out for falling Iguanas’ news items were an added bonus.
my best shot of Coral Castle from the road
Hahahaha
We took Route 1 south into the Keys, and because it had to be done blasted Kokomo on repeat a few times, followed by all the Jimmy Buffet Amazon Music had to offer. We were aiming for Bahia Honda Key, which looks to be about 2/3 of the way down the island chain. Once we hit the beautiful aqua shallows we stopped to walk along one of the roadside piers under the bridge, and spotted a manatee! I argued that it was probably something else because I was convinced a ranger told us they like fresh water, but conceded defeat. So yes, public statement I was wrong, Kevin. A rarity for the ages.
first pretty water sighting
it was kind of nice not driving for once but a great exercise in trust given it’s all I’ve got
We arrived at Bahia Honda State Park and got the rundown and set up camp. The tent was much better suited to room for sleeping but less comfy as a bed. Fun change, though, and a throwback to all our nights camping in the PNW, Montana, Maryland, and New England. It’s wonderful to have the freedom to roll with whatever comes up and seems like a good idea each day, but one downside of this plan of attack is when it comes to popular attractions or sites that really need reservations. This park fits into that category, and we just got very lucky that there must have been a cancellation or something because a site popped in and out of availability online and we managed to grab it at just the right time about 2 days out. When we arrived we found that perhaps that was due to this campsite being next to where a crew was loudly working , complete with a crane, to build a new bathhouse. So not ideal, but they were only there during the day so not a huge problem.
The park itself has beautiful sandy beaches with clear, very shallow water in a lot of places. The park runs snorkel trips (which we contemplated but it was very windy and, see above, chilly), rents kayaks (which we should have done but didn’t), has a marina, and leads other island tours here and there. We opted to enjoy the beautiful sunset over the bridge to nowhere, which was pretty special and a great way to wind down after a few hours driving. The bridge is part of the old Flagler railroad line that ran at one point all the way from St. Augustine to Key West, but was destroyed in a hurricane in 1935. The remains are now parallel in many places to Route 1 and this small section was accessible to pedestrians from the park.
On our one full day in the park we explored the island by walking the beach as far as was passable. A hurricane, I think Irma, did some damage on one end of the island so a section of beach and a campground are out of commission currently. The water was chilly but refreshing, and relatively clear despite the wind kicking up some sand, and there were all kinds of shells and coral and seaweed washed up on the beach. In the areas towards the south the sand was nice, though closer to the closed off end were rockier and harder to walk due to the abundance of shells. After walking as far as we could, we found a spot on the sand and had a little nap in the sun.
I braved the cool water for a swim, and shamed Kevin into joining me. After some squeals from the cold shock on his end we swam out to the sand bad and sat in the beautiful blue water, and I attempted to teach him how to float. Not my best results, but some progress was made- I felt like it was summer camp all over again.
What a beautiful park to start our time in the Keys! next stop, Key West!
The Van is Go 